Healing and Peace

I struggled with my infertility for a very long time.

Unless you've felt the pain and unanswered questions, you can't possibly understand the healing required. I think that only makes it worse, because there really is no one to turn to for help because most people have normal, healthy pregnancies and can get pregnant when they want. People mean well, and they try to lift you up but it never really does the job and in fact sometimes makes you feel worse.
Being LDS makes it even harder I think because there is an expectation to raise families and when you don't have one people automatically assume it's of a selfish nature and not something else.

I've prayed for years now to be at peace with my infertility.

It wasn't easy, but I feel like a whole new person. My entire perspective has changed. My relationship with my husband has changed. My relationship with my Heavenly Father has changed. I am now so completely grateful for the chance to experience the amazing blessing that adoption is because many people will never know. I'm learning that this process is a spiritual one and not a temporal one. I'm learning so many things that I can only learn by turning to my Heavenly Father. I've grown spiritually and understand that whatever baby makes it's way into my arms, is exactly the baby that Heavenly Father intended. It's amazing to me because you hear stories all the time about adoptive couples turning down babies and people are probably aghast at that idea but we definitely have to learn to trust in the Lord and much like a spouse, when we know it is right, it'll be right.

Now I pray every night for Birth Mothers and Adoptive Couples.

I pray that Heavenly Father will guide them to the toughest decisions of their lives. I pray that people will not be ashamed of adoption and that they will learn more about the process instead of being scared. I pray that people will understand that for many adoption is the only answer. I pray that people will remember those in search of babies or those considering placing for adoption and spread the words and love that “It's About Love” has to offer. Mostly I pray, that in the end everyone will be all right.

And tonight, I'm okay because I know that I'm am being blessed beyond comprehension for my trial of infertility.

I hope to continue to grow and change from this process. I hope to be an example to others. I hope to spread the word. I hope to adopt more than once. I hope to embrace this trial head on. I hope to volunteer, be involved, and continue praying for all birth mothers and adoptive couples.