Who am I?

I am one of those women who are constantly plagued with the "never good enough" syndrome. I love trying to reinvent myself and find what makes me tick. I have come to the conclusion however, that no matter how hard I try to change some things, I can't deny who I am.

I cannot swim. Several people have tried to teach me in vain and I still have yet to learn to swim well. I can keep myself alive and am pretty good at doggy paddle, but a swimmer I am not. I am the pickiest eater and have a problem with most foods. I suffer from dislikes in textures and smells, for example oranges feel funny because of the surrounding skins and so I just suck the juice out of them and then throw the rest away. I don't care about name brand design or style, I'm most comfortable with my hair pulled back in a ponytail with jeans and a t-shirt. I hate makeup and hardly ever wear it, probably because I don't know how to put it on well. I love to talk and no matter how hard I try to refrain myself I just can't seem to shut-up. I hate exercise but I love the "feel of the burn" when I lift weights. I hate driving in the snow and will find reasons to not have to, like asking Shane to take me to work. I suck at driving and get really nervous a lot, even as a passenger I grab the "oh crap" handle very often., I am blind, my eyes get worse every year. If I'm not wearing my contacts or glasses I cannot see my computer from two feet away. I forgive to easily and usually end up getting hurt over and over again because of this. I am very klutzy and have very little grace. When I'm talking to my husbands sometimes I'm very ditsy, i.e. Jessica Simpsonish. I love my job, but don't really know how to do it completely, even though I've been doing it for a year, and I still don't know anything about cars either. I'm afraid to pick a career and grow up because I'm afraid it will be too hard when it comes to school and the classes I will have to take, plus I have that hope of never having to decide and just staying home with my kids. I love paying bills. I get so excited when it's payday and then spread all of my bills on the floor with my laptop and my dog and just plug away. I love to talk on the phone unless it is my family because then I don't know what to say and usually fill spaces with silence. I'm not very good at customer service because I get irritated easily. I'm easily jealous of those around me. I have an amazing memory in life aspects but if you ask me to give a detailed book report or rate movies then I don't remember anything even if I've seen or read it a million times. I suffer from a constant need of change. I hate dogs, except for my own. Seriously, I'm surprised I even own one. I am amazing at one video game, Burnout Revenge and I'm proud of that. I can't carry a tune at all but love to sing and I dance and sing out loud when I think no one is watching. I absolutely hate the cold and can break out into hives if I get cold enough but can't stand the heat either. I'm meant for seventy degree weather all year around. I hate socks. In fact ninety percent of my shoes have been worn without socks at least once, and for that smell.

In thinking about me and the things I would change, I've come to the realization that I'm a pretty unique person. Instead of trying to reinvent myself this time, I think I'm going to pick a few of my favorite things about myself and celebrate them.