Mysteries

One downside of adoption is the mysteries it holds. I've started following several adoption stories and blogs on the internet, most of which are found through Families Supporting Adoption, and there is no typical case. I think that's why at this point pregnancy would be easier. I would know what to expect. I would have the guaranteed nine months to prepare. I would be in control of the situation. As it is, however, I'm up in the air. Everything is up to a potential birth mother. Will we be chosen? When will we be chosen? It is also up to the Agency. Is our house clean enough? Is our marriage strong enough? Did we pass the psych evaluations? Were our references good enough?


Many of these stories speak of the eventual finalization of a placement. However, they all speak of struggles. One in particular had all of her children that were placed with her taken back several times before finalization was completed due to the birth parents questioning their decision. I don't think I can handle that much emotion. Some days I wonder if it would be easier to give up my dreams of raising an infant and go straight to health and welfare and adopt a child between the ages of 0-5. I'm hanging in there and I'm keeping my spirits high as we plug along, I just hate all of the mysteries.